Robot Boy
by Tero Ne
Summary: Drunken marriage proposal in Vegas. Prompt given by Blaine (bwaves). Dirk is the mastermind behind a week long trip to Las Vegas with his long term boyfriend Jake who he hopes to turn into something a little more permanent than just boyfriend.
1. Chapter 1

Dirk is riding on cloud nine. Actually probably closer to nine thousand. He feels like he's on top of the world. In fact, he might actually be at the top of the world right now. He's pretty sure, like eighty-six percent sure, that he got the two of them into the right building and up the right elevator to the right floor. But even if he didn't, he doesn't care. All that matters right now that he can see all of the Vegas lights in his love's green green green eyes.

Everything is a bit brighter, a bit fuzzy and perfectly clear at the same time. He feels like the wind is going to buffett them over the edge but he knows the rail is sturdy enough. Just look at that engineering. It's already caught a couple of sways against it as they moved around to a quieter corner.

Jake's looking out over the city with the biggest grin. Dirk's heart almost floats out of his chest. Jake is so ruggedly handsome, his normally coiffed hair, usually all swept to one side, is now wind tossed and free. Dirk's hair is probably the same. Their suits are a bit mussed up too. But with that long of an elevator ride, who wouldn't get mussed up.

He feels the butterflies in his stomach try to revolt. He pulls a flask out of his back pocket and takes a swig. Not much left. Not with how they've been partying all night long. They have another bottle back at the room and hell bars are almost every two -well actually more like twenty five to forty- feet. They are both tipsy. Well, Dirk might be drunk, but he holds his liquor well enough to stand. It burns down his throat briefly before it joins the warm glow in his gut. Liquid courage some people call it. And boy does he need it.

He planned this out ages ago. He made his decision a while back, but he wanted to save it for the perfect moment. Of course, he wasn't just going to leave it up to chance. No, fate is too whimsical for that. He made the perfect moment happen. He engineered it. Starting from that one night that he laid awake in their bed back at home while Jake slept sprawled out over him.

He planned the trip to Vegas. He planned the fancy hotels and the extravagant events. He planned the nice dinners and the nicer outfits. He even planned the windfall at Jake's work that convinced him that a weekend, which turned into a week, trip to Las Vegas was a good idea, a good way to spend that extra money. Of course Jake started guessing at Dirk's subterfuge as soon as the concierge welcomed 'Mr. Strider' to their accommodations for six nights instead of just two. He caught on when 'Mr. Strider' already had reservations at the fanciest places they have ever eaten at. He didn't quite plan on the amount of drinking they had been doing tonight, but when they happened to win the jackpot in the casino and turn that windfall into easy millions even with taxes, they took their winnings and ran.

He made this decision a long time ago. The liquid courage is just to get him down on one knee. He feels the iron floor bite a little into his knee but it's a far away sensation. He looks up at Jake and his love is still staring out over the railing. Probably entranced by the fountains and their various patterns. Dirk tugs lightly at Jake's hands to get his attention and then immediately regrets it as he hasn't even pulled the box out of his jacket. But even as he's fumbling through his pocket he can't look away from Jake's face as he turns, pauses, and looks down. His eyes go wide and his hand comes up to his mouth.

Shit shit shit, the box isn't in his jacket. Maybe it's in the other jacket. Dirk knew he should have worn the other jacket. Or maybe it fell out of his pocket. He'd hate himself if it fell out of his pocket, but he keeps the surprise, frustration, and anger at his stupid self off of his face as he thinks about an alternative. Seconds later he's pulling at the necklace around his neck, a leather band that only burns a little as it snaps at the back of his neck. It's something Jake gave him as a souvenir from one of his wild adventures, but it will do the trick.

Dirk grabs Jakes other hand and starts wrapping the necklace around the base of his ring finger, making sure not to cut off circulation or anything. His eyebrows furrow as he has to concentrate on that through the drunken haze.

"Jake, my love, my jungle, my heaven, my hope. You've been my best friend for so many years. And yet, you still decided to be my boyfriend. And then you let me fall in love with you. And somehow, fuck, somehow you, you, you fell in love with me. I want... I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If you'll have me. Will you, will you marry me, Jake English?"

Jake stares at Dirk for a moment. Usually Dirk can read his face but with the shock currently on his face and the alcohol in his system makes his face blank. Dirk knows that Jake will say yes, he knows down to his core that he will say yes, but there's that moment, there's just a moment where that hope falters and Dirk feels like he's on a precipice and about to fall too far-

"Yes. Oh bloody hell, yes! You bloody fool. Yes, yes, forever yes." He grabs Dirk by the lapels and drags him up to his feet. And immediately kisses him deeply. Dirk barely recognizes the sounds of cheers and applause from the bystanders around them. He's too lost in Jake to care.

"Yes yes yes yes," Jake murmurs against his lips, "I would marry you in a heartbeat."

"Jake... Jake... I'm going off script now."

"Yes, Dirk?"

"We're in Vegas. We could get married here. Right now."

"Yes! Let's! Let's get married!"

Dirk's pretty sure it's the alcohol talking for the both of them but he can't bring himself to care. Jake said yes. He said yes to the necklace wrapped around his finger. He said yes to Dirk for forever. Forever is a fucking long time but he still said yes.

"You thought I was going to say no, you bloody fool," Jake murmurs against Dirk's lips against the wall of the elevator. "I saw it there on your face for a moment. You bloody fool, I love you so much. I love you so much."


	2. Chapter 2

The morning comes with bright fuzzy light that covers everything, making it impossible to see. Jake really can't see anything normally without his glasses, but it's usually not joined with a throbbing headache. Jake closes his eyes again and brings a hand up to massage away the pain attempting to jackhammer it's way through his temples. But that's when he feels the ring. Well the leather wrapped around his hand like a ring.

Memories of the night start to trickle in. The leather is from Dirk's necklace. Dirk asked him to marry him and of course Jake said yes. He was drunk and in love. Then... then someone mentioned actually getting married. They were in Vegas after all.

Jake doesn't remember Elvis so apparently they actually found a classy place because he does remember standing in a white room with flowers and stained glass and wow it was beautiful. He's pretty sure that they were both crying. He wishes he could remember the vows that he thought of off the cuff because they had made Dirk speechless. In fact, apparently they had knocked the entire place quiet. Dirk couldn't come up with vows after that. They both still said yes to the minister's, was he a minister, questions.

("_I, Jake English take you, Dirk Strider, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward. For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, so long as we both shall live."_)

They didn't have rings though, but used Dirk's makeshift idea, tearing the necklace in half. And a really sweet girl gave them the prettiest knots to keep them on their fingers. A little untraditional, but symbolic all the same.

But, Jake thinks with a cold pit in his stomach, very impromptu. Not like Dirk at all. Especially with all of the planning that Dirk put into this trip. The alcohol must have clouded his judgement. Jake knew the tequila had been a bad idea. It always causes people to do incredibly stupid things. Stupid things like getting married at Las Vegas. And Jake let it happen.

Jake let it happen. Jake let Dirk trap himself with someone incompatible.

That cold feeling spreads to his entire torso and Jake almost shivers under it's weight. The only reason he suppresses the reaction is that Dirk is laying right next to him. Curled up against his side.

After the ceremony, they managed to stumble back to the hotel. Jake remembers something about champagne. He hopes they didn't actually drink that. Or at least not all of it. But then they just fell into bed. So much for a wedding night. Jake knows all of the pomp that is supposed to go into that. It's the big night. The one that is supposed to consummate their marriage. He knows it's old tradition and not exactly applicable to current society. But the pressure is still there. Jake feels like he's letting Dirk down. Dirk's always been about the Strider traditions, going on about how his big brother would look down on him if they weren't carried through. This is probably another one. Not that Bro could possibly know whether or not they... did the do on their wedding night, but he always has a knack for knowing anyways.

Jake doesn't want to be responsible for having Dirk's brother disown him. Not over something like this. Jake tries to think quickly about how to fix the situation. He's pretty sure that the rule "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" doesn't actually work. Let's see what does he remember about weddings. He can get it annulled. They can act like it didn't happen. Like they didn't make this mistake.

But Jake knows that they won't just be able to forget it. This isn't something they could just let go. It would haunt them. It would drive them apart. It doesn't matter how much in love they are right now, backing out of this marriage would poison and kill that love eventually. And then Dirk would be free. That would be better than trapping him into this sexless marriage, sexless relationship with someone like Jake.

"Stop that."

Jake nearly startles off the bed at the sound of Dirk's voice.

"You're thinking too loud and it's hurting my head."

"I'm pretty sure that's the hangover, chap."

"Maybe. But you're also freaking out. You're breathing hard."

Which of course causes Jake to hold his breath until Dirk elbows him in the side. Dirk slowly turns over, squinting in the light streaming into their window. They really should close the curtains. Maybe Jake can slip away to do that-

"Nope. Not going anywhere," Dirk decrees as he flops down on top of Jake, preventing him from moving. He manages to open one eye enough to stare down at him. "Now, what are you freaking out over?"

"Annulment," Jake answers. He hates how Dirk frowns at him. "We got drunk last night and you proposed and we got married! In Vegas! I've ruined your plans. I'm sorry. I'm stupid and sorry and we can annul the marriage and just forget the whole thing. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right?"

Dirk stares at him with that same frown. Jake starts to get fidgety before Dirk finally answers. "Jake, I say this lovingly, but you're a fucking moron." He pushes himself further up on Jake's chest. "Go back a little in your thought process. Why exactly do you want an annulment?"

"Because I've trapped you! I'm- I'm- and you're not!"

"Jake. I love you. And that all that matters."

"But you're not asexual! Not like me. I can't... I can't give you what you need."

"I don't need sex. Long showers are good enough for me. You know that. We've been over this."

"Yes. It worked while we were dating. But- but we're married now! And I still can't- I can't be married to you!"

"Do... did you mean to say no last night?" Dirk asks with a heavy frown on his face that breaks Jake's heart.

"No! I mean, I meant yes. The yes of last night. I- I do want to marry you, but I can't!"

"Unless you have another marriage hiding in your dark mysterious past of those ten years before I met you or if you are still somehow underaged or unable to consent, I'm pretty sure you're allowed to be married to me."

"Dirk! Stop that! You know what I mean."

"No. I don't. This is an old argument. It didn't chase me off back then and it's not going to chase me off now."

"It's not like you even meant to propose anyways!"

"What?"

"Our rings. Leather bits from your necklace. It was spontaneous. Spur of the moment. We were drunk. We were drunk and stupid. And as soon as the hangover wears off you're going to regret it so why not have our escape plan in place."

"The rings. Duh. The rings." Dirk scrambles off of Jake, making him wince and move out of the way of Dirk's flailing limbs as he fights the covers. After grabbing his glasses off of the nearby nightstand, glad that old habits weren't eschewed in his drunken behavior the night before, he watches carefully as Dirk starts grabbing the discarded jackets around the room. It's truly surprising how many jackets they have. Dirk pick up each one, checks the pockets, and then tosses them away again. He's easily on his fifth before he lets out a cheer of victory. He pulls something out and comes back over to the bed.

Jake makes out a small box in his hand before Dirk stops abruptly, just before the edge of the bed. Then he's kneeling. Jake sits up. He doesn't feel like he can breathe. Dirk holds up the black box, but Jake doesn't have enough time to read the fancy gold script across the top before Dirk's opening it with a creak of leather. In the gray foam are two matching rings. Silver bands with topaz and emerald crystals set in pairs on each one.

"Jake. You didn't ruin anything. I planned everything, except winning a shit ton of money, was kinda expecting to lose more than win, and didn't expect to misplace these before I proposed to you at the top of the world. You didn't trap me. I've chosen. And would choose again and again. And I hope you choose me again, this morning. Stay with me, Jake. Stay married to me."

Jake tries to hold back the tears but the emotions are just running way too high and wild for any such restraint. He's gulping in air as he tries to catch his breath. It's too much. It's just so much. It's Dirk's heart on the line. But also his future.

How many times has he said that he doesn't want to be with anyone else despite the lack of... intimacy in their lives. Dirk has never looked at another the way he looks at Jake. He's always been by Jake's side. Always had his back. Dirk's always been there for him. And always will be.

"Yes." Dirk doesn't even take off the leather imitations before he's sliding the silver ring onto Jake's finger. Or maybe he purposefully keeps it there. Jake takes his hand and does the same. "Yes."

Dirk's sweeping him up into a kiss. "You fucking moron. I love you so much. I love you so much."


End file.
